What did you say you did for a living?
by gleekyk
Summary: Robin learns what Barney does for a living, and she finds herself caught up in the middle of all of it. Will Barney be able to call himself Robin's night in shining armor, or will he be too late to save her?


**I've decided to do a few one shots, so except a few more within the next couple of days. This is an AU fic. I don't usually do AUs, but this idea popped into my head and I just couldn't resist. So here we are. I hope that you enjoy it. I was going to divide this into two parts, but I figured what the hell. This takes place around season 4.**

Barney had always been secretive about his job, and he had his reason. He worked in an office, but what he did certainly wasn't honorable. Of all the things his friend's minds thought of, he was sure that they would never be able to guess it accurately.

There were things about Barney that no one knew, one of them being his job, and it wasn't because he wanted to be mysterious, he didn't really care about that. The one thing he was concerned with was the safety of the people that he cared about most.

He'd never wanted to get as close to them as he was. He was afraid of what would happen to them if his enemies ever discovered that there were people he cared about. Yes, he had enemies, and not the kind that you prank at work or argue with about the sacredness of a building. No, his enemies were the kind that would kill anyone that got in their way. Barney Stinson was no ordinary business man. Barney Stinson was a professional criminal.

-xxx-

"Look at you Scherbatsky." Barney said a grin on his face. They were just friends. Barney kept reminding himself of that fact, but why did she have to always look so damn gorgeous? He kept telling himself that it wasn't a date. Ted was so busy with his whole Mosbious Designs lately, and Marshall and Lily had some big date tonight, so Barney offered to spend the day with Robin, that way neither of them had to be alone. He also simply loved Robin's company.

She grinned in the self aware way that drove him crazy. "I know." She shrugged. "I brought it." And brought it she did. She knew that he had a thing for sundresses, maybe that was why she was wearing one. Maybe she wanted him as such as he wanted her. "So, where to?"

He smiled. "Where else would we start the best day of your life? Drinks at MacLaren's."

She looked at her watch. "Barney, it's 2:30."

"I think your watch must be broken, because according to my time it's awesome o'clock." She rolled her eyes, knowing that this was one that she just couldn't win.

Barney felt like they were on a real date, and it felt so damn good. He pulled her chair out for her when they went to dinner that night, bought her one of the best cigars that money could buy, and even offered to take her to The Lusty Leopard, a place that even a woman as awesome as Robin didn't want to go to voluntarily.

"You're awesome." Barney said on the cab ride back to her apartment. He wasn't sure why he said it, but after a day like that he just couldn't help himself. He thought about all the little things that happened that day that he would be thinking about for the rest of the night.

He kept thinking about how her hand touched his when she reached for the check at the same time as him. He rolled him eye. "Please Robin." He said, "I'm not Ted. You don't have to pretend like you have any intention of paying." she smiled at him and drew her hand away.

"Well if you insist." She said.

He let her take a puff of his cigar. He swore that he could taste her lips on it after she gave it back. "That's good stuff." She sighed. He wished that he was tasting her lips instead, they were so close, like they were teasing him, daring him to reach for them.

He knew that he would be thinking about that day for many more to come.

"I'm awesome?" She asked, smiling at him from the other side of the cab.

"Yeah you are." He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Today was like the best day ever. You're the best… bro… I've ever had."

She nodded in agreement. "You know, I'll be honest, I wasn't sure how today was going to go, but I'm glad that I came. It was a lot of fun. You didn't even try any funny business under the table."

Barney laughed, pretending like he hadn't thought about doing that the entire time she was sitting across from him, her knees occasionally rubbing against his, and now he was taking her back to her apartment, making sure that she arrived there safely. He didn't do this for girls, or friends. He didn't do this for anyone, yet here he was.

He walked her up the steps, still not sure why he was doing this. She smiled at him, looking appreciative. "I think that I've got it from here." She said, with a smile. "Thank you though."

He smiled back at her, her lips were there again, teasing him the way only she could. Oh he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her so bad. She must have sensed this, sensed the awkward tension between them, because she took a step away from him, still smiling. "Good night Barney." She said.

He should have gone to the cab and went home. That's what he should have done, but instead he grabbed her, and pulled her back to him, kissing her lips, taking in her scent and her taste and her smell. She should have fought him, pushed him away, but he was so confident and his lips tasted so perfect, she want it just as bad as he did.

They finally separated, gasping for air, and it started to hit Robin, what had just happened, what was still happening. His hands had found their place on her hips and he was rubbing her gently. Damn it was driving her crazy. She back up out of his reach. "I should go." She said. "It's getting late and I'm tried." Before he could protest or say another word she was gone, and he was alone.

-xxx-

The last thing that Robin excepted was he be taken from her apartment that night. Ted was on one of his wisdom walks, which was lucky for her abductors, but not so lucky for Robin. Not that Ted would have been a real problem. There were two men, and it only took one to hold Robin in a painfully tight grip. "Let go." She cried, not sure exactly who this man was. She was sure that she had never seem him before. She would have remembered a face that held that much evil.

He just smiled as she attempted to fight. She hadn't even had time to change out of her sundress before they dragged her down the stairs, and into the back of a dark van that immediately sped away. She wasn't sure where she was or what was happening, all she knew was that she was scared as hell. Getting thrown into a van at night was never the start of a pleasant experience.

The next thing she remembered was pain pulsing through her head as she laid silently on a hard floor.

"You killed her." She heard a voice say, not yet opening her eyes. It was a deep husky voice, not the kind that was generally used to soothe babies.

"She's not dead dummy, she's breathing." Said another.

Robin opened her eyes, taking a good look at these men. They looked mean, evil. Like they would kill her and more without a second thought. She immediately scooted away from them. Their mere appearances scared her to death. She had no idea where she was, but she knew that is wasn't the kind of place you want to be. It was cold and dark, and judging by the view outside of the window there was nothing but trees for miles.

"Well good morning Sunshine." Said the one that had grabbed her, he gave her a grin, revealing that he was missing a few teeth. Robin tried to speak but her voice seemed to be lost.

"Don't worry." He said, still smiling "We don't want to hurt you."

"Then what do you want from me?"

"You're an essential tool that we must use to get to someone very powerful."

"Powerful? What are you talking about?" She was surprised by how strong her voice sounded when inside she felt so weak.

The second man laughed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Your boyfriend, Buttercup. We don't want to hurt you. It's Stinson that we want."

"Barney?" She asked. "He's not… He's not my boyfriend." Was all she could mange to say.

The first man smiled. "We've been following him for a while. There's no use denying what we've seen for ourselves." Was it true? From the perspective of someone who didn't know the group, would Robin and Barney seem like a couple? They did share a pretty passionate kiss that night on her door step.

"I still don't understand. What do you want with Barney?"

"Do you know what your precious boyfriend does to make his money." The first man looked genuinely amused. Robin shook her head. "He's killer. He's a professional killer. He doesn't do the killing anymore, oh no, he's too good for that. He hires others to get their hands dirty, but it doesn't matter. He was responsible for the death of our boss. He was a great boss, and we promised that we would avenge him. That's why you're safe… for now. He doesn't care about some stupid bitch that got herself caught up in Stinson's world. What he would want is the man himself taken down. That's why you're going to call him and let him know where you are and how desperate you are for him to come and save your precious little life. That is, if you want to stay safe." It made Robin sick how happy this whole situation made these men. She felt her stomach sink at the thought of luring Barney into a trap. A trap that would result in his death. She couldn't.

She shook her head. "I'm not doing that."

"You really have no choice." The second man said. He took her phone, which he must have gotten from her pocket when she was passed out. She heard three rings, and then a very groggy Barney answer. It must be the middle of the night at this point. She couldn't be sure though. She didn't know how long she'd been out.

"Hello?"

"Stinson. It's Garbov's old business associate, you may remember me. Joseph." she now knew the first man's name. "I'm here with Alexander, I know you remember him." And now she knew the second man's name. "There's one more person that's here with us, you may be interested in. She's a very pretty woman. You did good Stinson."

Barney froze in his bed, suddenly wide awake. "You don't have…"

"Robin? Oh yes. We do, and I think she wants to talk to you." He smiled, handing her the phone.

"Barney." She said, trying not to sound panicked, but knowing that that was exactly how she sounded. "Barney, they want you to come for me because they want to kill you, but you can't do it, they'll kill you Barney." Before she could say another word Alexander had snatched the phone from her hand. She learned that they weren't the kind of men who were above hitting women as she felt Joseph's fist against her cheek. She tried not to, but out of surprise and pain she screamed.

"Please." Barney begged. "I'll do anything. Just don't hurt her."

"We left a package on your front door. It will tell you where we are, but I would hurry. She doesn't seem like she's going to be very cooperative."

"Let me talk to her." Barney demanded, clenching his fists to stop himself from punching a hole in the wall.

There was a rustling and then he heard Robin's voice. "Barney." She whined.

"Robin, I know you're strong willed and you're not used to doing what you're told, but these men.. They're not messing around. Be careful and just… just do what they say. Please." She heard the desperation in his voice as he said please.

"I will." She said, quietly. Alexander took the phone back.

"I would hurry Stinson. This Robin is a beautiful woman, and you know how much we love pretty women."

"If you lay a finger on her." Barney said through gritted teeth. "It'll be the last thing you do."

The line went dead.

"So Robin." She hated the way that Joseph said her name. "It appears your lover boy is on his way. This was a great idea. I think we can make him do just about anything if we hold you over his head." She notices for the first time that he has a gun. For some reason seeing the gun made everything seem so much more real to Robin. He smiled at her.

Robin was genuinely scared, which is something that she wasn't very often. "We're just friends." she argued. "He probably isn't even going to come." She wondered if maybe what she's saying is true. Barney cared about her, but the truth was, she wasn't even sure exactly who he was. She found out more about him then she ever thought was possible. He was a professional criminal and these men had kidnapped her, of all people, to use as bait.

"He'll come." Joseph said. "You can't really be so naïve to think that the guy's not in love with you. Too bad saving you will be the last thing that he does." He touched her cheek in the same stop that he had hit it. She winced and moved away from him. She knew that Barney said not to fight them, but if they tried to touch her in any way, she would fight them to the death.

-xxx-

Barney could kick himself. He knew that he made a mistake by getting so close to Robin. He knew that it would never end well, not with his lifestyle, and now she was in danger. She was in serious danger because of him. He tried not to think about what those men were capable of. He tried to pretend like what he was doing wasn't a matter of life and death, but his mind kept coming back to Robin. He imagined that she was scared, she was probably terrified, and there was nothing he could do to calm her nerves. Nothing he could say would make her stop fearing that because of his own stupid choices her life was at risk.

The instructions that they left him were detailed, and he knew that time was of the essence here. He wasn't sure what these men would do, but he had a feeling that it wasn't good. He didn't even think about what would happen to him once he saw these men face to face. They would probably kill him.

He was eerily okay with that.

-xxx-

Robin hated that Barney loved sundresses, especially ones that made her look so damn hot. She felt Alexander's and Joseph's eyes on her. She knew what was going through their minds and it made her sick. She wanted Barney to be there. She wanted him to take her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. He would protect her in the way that only he knew how.

-xxx-

He told himself not to think about how much he loved Robin. It would only cloud his thoughts, and he needed a clear head right now, but he kept thinking about how beautiful she looked in that damn sundress.

-xxx-

Alexander ran his hands up and down her sides, and pushed him away. "Don't touch me."

"You're feisty." He said with a smile.

Damn right she was.

-xxx-

He knew that he was close. He could almost smell Robin's perfume.

-xxx-

She tried so hard not to cry. It was a sign of weakness and weakness was the last thing that she needed to show these guys.

-xxx-

This was it. Robin was behind this door. All he had to do was open it.

-xxx-

She was about to start crying when she heard the door open. Joseph immediately grabbed her, his gun digging into her side violently. There was Barney, looking at her, with that sad look in his eyes.

Barney shook his head. "I'll do whatever you want." He said. "Just please let her go. Please."

Joseph smiled, obviously liking this answer. He didn't loosen his grip on Robin however.

"Barney, don't." She said, not sure where this sudden bravery was coming from. "Please don't. It's not too late to go back home. Go."

"Are you crazy? I can't leave you here. This has nothing to do with you. Come on, you said if I came then you would let her go."

"Barney, please-"

"Enough!" Joseph's voice belted. "You two shut up, and I'm going to tell you how it works. We kill you, and then after your dead, we'll set your girlfriend free."

"How do I know that you wont kill her once I'm dead."

That same disgusting smile. "I guess you're just going to have to trust us. There's always option 2. I kill you both right here."

"You forgot option 3." Robin said, a millisecond later her elbow was in his ribcage, he was on the floor and his gun was in her hands.

She fired twice, not aiming, just shooting. The pool of blood that formed so quickly told Robin that she must have hit a good spot. Barney wished that he could think of anything other than how turned on her was right now. Robin turned to face Alexander, who looked more scared then Robin had been throughout this whole kidnapping.

"You shouldn't have underestimated me." Robin said. It was her turn to smile because she had won. He was begging her not to shoot, but she was Robin fucking Scherbatsky, and she didn't show mercy, so she pulled that trigger.

She killed two men. She just killed two men. She took a deep breath, as Barney stood on the other side of the room not moving. "Are you okay?" He finally asked quietly. He crossed the room, where she still stood with the gun in her hands. "I'm going to take care of the bodies." He whispered into his ear. "You don't have to worry about anything." She threw the gun down, still not sure how she was supposed to feel. She was here and so was Barney.

"Did they hurt you?" He asked, running his fingers threw her hair and down her back. "I mean besides this." He kissed her wounded cheek so lightly she could barely feel it.

She shook he head. "They didn't hurt me." She said softly. "I think they hit me on the head. I blacked out." He saw the wound covered in dried blood. His heart sank knowing that all of this was his fault.

"We should get out of here." he said, taking her hand, and pulling her towards the door. "My people will be here any minute to clean this up."

It was early morning now, but Robin was exhausted, so Barney took her back to his apartment. He figured it would be easier than explaining to Ted what had happened. Ted didn't need to know anyway. He never needed to know.

"Are you okay?" He repeated, as he helped her into his bed.

"I'm fine." She said for what felt like the hundredth time that morning.

She was in nothing but one of his dress shirts and a pair of his boxers. He crawled into bed with her and took her in his arms. She didn't realize how much she needed to be in his arms until she was there. She buried her face into his neck and began to sob uncontrollably. It felt so good to be able to let lose.

He rubbed her back gently, wishing that there was a handbook on what to do in these kind of situations. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her. He wanted to say that he was sorry for dragging her into the middle of his business. He wanted to say that he was proud of her and the way that she was able to handle that gun. He wanted to tell her that she was an amazing woman and he was honored just to be able to call her his friend, although, he wasn't sure that friend was exactly the word that he would use to call her anymore. He took a deep breath, holding her tighter. There were so many things that he wanted to say to Robin, but he said the one thing that he had been dreaming of saying for years. "I love her." He whispered into her hair so softly that he wasn't even sure if she heard it.

"I love you too, Barney." She whispered back


End file.
